The Imperfect Pursuit of Perfection
How many times have you heard in your life "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all!" or some variation of that philosophy? When I was a kid in school, I was in pursuit of the "A". Once I started working, I was in pursuit of the next big promotion. In my personal life, I have pursued the ideals of the perfect spouse, home, friends, etc. I had become a perfectionist. In my mind, I was always doing it "right" because I thought I was following all of the so-called rules and advice for each one of these things. I expected to do and find great things.
Where I got stuck was when I did everything "right", but didn't get the end result that I thought I was due. Upon reflection, it's like life didn't get my memo that it was time for me to reap all of benefits I was expecting. Listening to all of the experts and following their advice to the letter didn't work. So I got confused. Was it possible that I was really doing everything wrong?
When I think about it, I have a bit of an obsession with being "right" and things having to be perfect. It's my internal gold star standard. If it isn't perfect, then I'm a failure. Ultimately though, the result of this extreme thinking results in a type of paralysis. ("Because if I can't do it right, then I'm not doing it at all!")
Anything that we deem worthy of investing our time in creating is never going to be 100% perfect. I read things I've written that I am happy with, but I can always find one more thing to tweak or modify. The creator pursues perfection, knowing that imperfection is inevitable. You can't stop the race even if you know you can't win. You have to move forward, take your lumps, learn something, and then hope that next time is better.
Are you in pursuit of a goal and find yourself wanting to quit because things aren't perfect? Don't. And if you don't, I won't either. Let's kick it up a notch, and be okay with being imperfect a little while longer to see what happens next.
(photo credit windy_'s)
Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 2:09PM Christy Smith 8 Comments in Motivation, Self-Development tagged perfection, pursuit
Reader Comments (8)
You know, this is one of the more interesting blog posts I've read recently. I'm not a omni-perfectionist, meaning that I don't feel like I need to be perfect at everything I do. I fully realize that I'm good at certain things, and that I won't be good at everything. And I don't need to be good at the things that don't fit in with my goals or passions. I've seen so many people waste time try to be good at something that they don't even like? And for what? For some arbitrary internal desire to be good at anything? Our energies can be used so much better if we drop the things we don't care about or aren't good at and focus on the things we do care about or are good at.
Ok, so that strayed off topic a little bit. Anyway, again, great post!
Hi Tristan- thanks so much for stopping by and for the kind compliment!
I agree that there can be a lot of angst and wasted energy on trying to be perfect at something that isn't aligned well with your overarching goals and values. We don't need to be good at everything! That's why we have to recognize where other people's strengths compliment our weaknesses, and be willing to ask for help. As long as we strive for perfection in those things we do care about- and enjoy the journey along the way- I think we have a much higher chance of being happy with what we do accomplish.
Great points.
I have dealt with perfectionism in the past. It really can be a hindrance. Things will never be 100% perfect if you try for that, nothing will ever get done. You need to give everything your all. Go over it one more time and run with it. Action not words.
Will failure happen? For sure, but failure is simply THE BEST tool for growth.
Awesome post, thanks
Hi Steve- thanks so much for visiting and the comment! I am just the worst with perfectionism. It's something that I actively need to manage because it will throw me into a complete state of spinning my wheels. You are right that sometimes you just do your best and go with it.
Failure is absolutely the best way to learn and grow. I like the concept I've heard a lot recently of "failing forward". I think really speaks to failure being part of the process we have to go through.
Hi Christy, this is really a great article. Often I have done things and while striving for perfection, which for whatever reason I don't obtain, I've given up on whatever it is I was doing, usually never to be done again. You right, we have to keep going and not let imperfections stop us. It's okay to strive for better, but we can't give up and forget about or hopes, dreams, and goals.
I still struggle with this from time to time, but over time, I'm getting better.
Thanks again for the great article.
Hi Scott- thanks for stopping by and leaving such kind feedback! It is always so nice to hear that I'm not alone in this challenge! I consider myself a lifelong learner in trying to undo my perfectionist tendencies. I have found it feels like a huge relief to just DO something and tweak later if needed. In each failure, I walk away with more info to be better next time.
Christy - You hit me right between the eyes with this post. I've just finished the second (or is it the third?) rewrite of the Home Page content for three websites I've wanted to 'finish' and launch for over two months now. I always feel, as you wrote, that if I don't get it 'perfect', I'm a failure. And you're right... My perfectionism isn't delivering the results I want. It's time for me to turn my attention to achieving results rather than pursuing perfection. I'm so glad you reposted this. It's a perfect (no pun intended) kick-start for the new year.
Thanks so much for visiting and posting this comment Randy! I have struggled a great deal with my perfectionist tendencies this past year, and have had to create a mindset that the sooner I get something out there for others to react to, the sooner I can make my work better. (Fail forward faster!) It has helped- as has nudges from my supportive friends. :) Good luck with what you are working on, and please let me know if I can help with anything!