Balance, Boundaries, and Holiday Cheer

I have a bit of a confession. 

This is not my favorite time of year.  Christmas is the specific holiday celebrated in the Smith household, and honestly I take a deep breath the day before Thanksgiving and say a silent prayer that I survive the next six weeks to emerge victorious on the first day of the new year.

We joke about "surviving" the holidays, and there's a reason.  It's a stressful time of year.  Expectations and emotions run high.  Time and patience are at all-time lows.  For all of the wonderful things we experience and share during the holidays, there seems to be an equal amount of pain-in-the-butt situations that drive us to the brink of madness.

So in the spirit of giving and sharing this season, I thought I'd give you some of my tips for finding as much joy as possible each year, while reducing the rest of the noise that takes away from my fun. 

It's Not All About Me

People carry a lot of crud around with them year-round, but things seem to get particularly nasty around the holidays.  Strangers because easy targets.  Everywhere you go there is a crowd, and we're all jostling to make the most efficient use of our very limited amount of time.  We'll knock little old ladies down if it means we get a better spot in line.  Small children become road kill in the aisles (where are their parents anyways?).  And if one more clerk says "have a great holiday!" I'm just as likely to want to punch them in the nose as respond in kind.  Holiday spirit be damned- I've got ten more stores to get to in the next 2 hours!  Somewhere along the way, common courtesy (cleverly disguised as "holiday spirit") goes right out the window.

TIP: If you're not a crowd person (and I'm not) then maximize your online shopping options.  This year I ordered 75% of my gifts online, and I'm getting my groceries delivered too.  But for the times I know I do need to venture out, I'm making sure to reserve at least twice the amount of time it usually takes so that I don't feel pressured for time.  Patience and tolerance pays off in spades this time of year and I can look at myself in the mirror without wincing.

I Don't Have To Be Perfect

The perfect gift.  The timeless holiday traditions.  The most scrumptous holiday meal.  Ideal weather. 

We go to great lengths to create the absolute perfect holiday experience for the ones we love.  That means that once things start to unravel (as they inevitably do) I will beat myself silly and start acting like a crazy person. It starts to feel like everyone is out to get me.  (Visions of Clark Griswold dance through my head.)

Suddenly I'm sleeping less, drinking more, and questioning my entire existence.  I feel like all eyes are on me, and I am being judged by an invisible expert holiday panel who is rating my ability to host, shop, and live up to my family's holiday expectations.

TIP: Don't strive for perfection.  Make do with smiles, laughter, hugs, and love.  Sometimes the best times are had when we aren't perfect.  (My family still laughs and tells the story each year about my grandfather's failed attempt at Spritz cookies from 25 years ago.) Traditions are the map, but it's just as important to enjoy the journey.

Delegate The To-Do List

The list starts before Thanksgiving.  There's the decorating that needs to be planned and executed.  Shopping for all of the people on the list (and usually for multiple items).  Christmas cards need to be drafted, holiday parties attended, and gift wrapping accomplished.  The list grows longer the closer I am to the big day.  Then big red warning signs start kicking in around Dec. 15th (along with the "guaranteed shipping by Christmas only if you order now!" emails from retailers). 

I'm frazzled and overwhelmed.  Even humming Christmas music isn't helping my holiday mojo.

TIP: When the to-do list reaches #10, stop and ask for help.  Don't try to shoulder all the duties on your own.  This year my husband has been doing a lot more of the gift wrapping, and that alone has made a huge difference in my holiday attitude.  I know for me it's a control thing (no doubt going back to my perfectionist tendencies).  Plus delegating has the added bonus of bringing everyone into the merriment of what goes into creating the holiday experience. (My kids love to help decorate the house and wrap presents.)  Be willing to let go and give everybody a chance to participate.

Remember To Breathe

We pack more into six weeks than you'd ever think possible.  It's no wonder we drink on New Year's- we've forgotten what a "normal" routine looks like anymore.  Crawling under a rock and sleeping for the next month has a lot of appeal.  The jokes about January being the month to "recover" from the holidays begin, and then you realize it's no joke. 

Anybody else draw up the list of lessons learned for next year so that you can do it better?   If I only had a dollar for every time I said I would start shopping for next year right after Christmas...

TIP: Interweave some quality reflective time during the holiday season so that there's no need to recover later.  It'll make you more efficient and productive in early January when everyone else is remembering how to work again.  Get a massage, grab a cup of coffee and a good book, or just spend some time in another part of the house on a quieter afternoon.  I like getting my hair done so that I get out of the house by myself for a few hours AND I know I'll look fabulous in the holiday pictures. 

I swear I'm not a bah humbug.  I really do like Christmas, but it is a fine balancing act every year.  When I remember to set myself up for success to keep my sanity, it's a much more enjoyable season for everyone.

What's your favorite holiday survival tip?

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(photo credit mysza831)

Comments

[Galit Breen]

What excellent tips, and sadly so, so-very-necessary! Silently praying over here for you, too! :)

[Christy Smith]

Thanks for stopping by Galit! Just a few more loose ends and then I *think* I'm good for the rest of the season. (Isn't that always the case? LOL.)