Commit To Just One Step

Earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to try one of those one-week detox programs that I always read about in magazines.  The regime was strict, but not crazy (it wasn't one of those liquid-only 24/7 for days on end kind of things).  The big kicker for me though was that there was no alcohol or caffeine allowed.  For me, this is pretty close to a deal breaker.   The mental magnitude of trying this out, even to lose a few pounds, made me want to quit before I even got started. 

I knew that I couldn’t just jump into this with both feet with no preparation.  I’d be a cranky loon before the first day was done.  So I decided to break it down, and ease myself into it one step at a time.  Two weeks before I started, I stopped drinking alcohol.  I started drinking more Arnold Palmers and cherry Diet Cokes (just to feel “fancy” at happy hour) and because nothing else changed, it wasn’t that bad.

One week before my detox week, I stopped drinking caffeine.  I’ll admit- that one hurt.  Gone were my fancy drinks, and getting going in the morning was a lot harder than I thought.  I got the caffeine headaches, the crankiness, and the mood swings.  (I was really popular with my family and friends.)  But after a few days it got better, and I felt the first real glimmer of “I can do this”.

For the detox week, the only change left was food, and I already knew from my experience the previous two weeks that once the first few days were over, it wasn’t that bad.  I had more energy, and I was sleeping better.   By the end I felt better and lost a few pounds.  Win for me!

Sizing Up the Impossible

Whenever we are looking at a project or obstacle that seems too big to possibly accomplish, what I think happens is that we start bringing up a whole bunch of excuses telling ourselves why this thing can’t be done.  Our brains get overwhelmed, we bicker with ourselves, and the end result is either we quit, or worse yet we don’t even start.  We talk ourselves right into action paralysis.

The Brilliance of One Step

This is the point where we have to start talking about Jedi mind tricks.  If you start chewing on the idea of something that has the appearance of being to big to handle (and that would encompass just about any lifestyle change, job transition, learning, etc.) you are going to find that you are filled with a lot of self-doubt.  And who better to make you feel worthless, out of control, and completely inept than your own inner critic?  You don’t have to tell a single soul what you are thinking, because your inner critic will browbeat you to death with all the reasons you can’t succeed if you let it. 

The inner critic is on high alert when you are contemplating something big, so what you have to do is fly under her radar.  You can make progress towards it with just one step.  If you want to lose weight, maybe you start talking walks in the morning or stop drinking soda.  If you want to start a business, maybe you start reading things by other people who are doing what you want to do.  If you want to get a new job, maybe you start researching companies that you think you’d like to work for.  The point is, don’t make it so big that you wind up on the IC’s radar.  Before you know it, you’ve gained the confidence you need to start thinking about another step.  And if the IC comes along, you are going to feel more confident telling her to take a hike and leave you alone.

Make Up Your Mind

What have you been itching to do that you haven’t done yet because it seems too big?  You don’t think you have the time, energy, or resources to make it happen?  What’s the smallest thing you could do today or this week to start moving you on your way?  Commit to doing just that one thing.  That’s all.  Nothing scary, and nothing threatening.  Don’t think about doing anything else until you know this first thing enough to feel confident in it.  The benefit of this means you aren’t going to get yourself all tangled up in self-doubt, and you aren’t putting barriers in place if you learn something new along the way. 

What I’m Doing This Week

I’ve got so many projects spinning around in my mind that I feel like I'm making next to no progress on anything.  This week, I’m going to be focusing on mind mapping.  I read an eBook by Mark Dykeman (who blogs at ThoughtWrestling.com) called Unstuck, Focused and Organized Using Mind Mapping (affiliate link).   My step this week is going to be decluttering and downloading everything in my mind into individual mind maps so that I can feel confident focusing on each project individually.   Plus, extra bonus, it seems like a fun idea.  Work and fun?  Sounds perfect to me.

So I’ll throw the question to you.  What one step are you going to commit to this week?

(photo credit by Mrs Logic)

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Standing Up To Your Inner Critic

Everybody has that voice in their head that likes to come off like a bit of a smarty pants.  Every time you have a good idea, the voice will be more than happy tell you why that idea sucks.  Every time you are feeling motivated to try something new, the voice will give you ten reasons why you shouldn’t even bother.  Every time you have a cool experience, the voice will remind you of every single mistake you made.

Of course, we know that voice belongs to our inner critic (which I’ll just go ahead and call the IC from here on out).

Now I believe that it isn’t really the IC’s fault that it has such a bad rap.  At the right time and place, a solid IC is necessary to make sure you are realistically approaching things and considering things from all angles.  But when given it center stage at the wrong time, the IC can completely wipe out every bit of self-confidence you have.

I'm a great example.  I’ve said for years that I wanted to write a book.  (any other wannabe authors out there?)  I started my first manuscript when I was twelve.  I had a succession of starts and stops for the next fifteen years.  I kept saying that I wanted to write a book so bad.  But I couldn’t get it together to do it.  I’d start writing, and before long that voice would creep up in the back of my head and tell me the story was crap.  I’d go back and reread chapters filled with despair.  Why bother writing it at all then?  So I’d stuff the papers away for another day.  You know- for the next time inspiration hit.

It was a fluke that I ran across an article one day about a book called No Plot No Problem! A Low Stress, High Velocity Way to Writing a Novel in 30 Days by Chris Baty (affiliate link).  I actually thought it was kind of humorous.  A book in 30 days?  Who does something crazy like that?  But I was intrigued so I picked it up, and then devoured the book in a day. 

It left me with my head spinning.  Was it possible?  Could I really do it?  This guy had done it, and in telling his story I knew that lots of other people had done it too.  Maybe I could write a book after all.

The biggest a-ha for me in the book was Baty’s advice for dealing with my IC. (finally!)  He said that you pack your IC up for thirty days and send her off to a cozy island somewhere to take a much needed vacation.  There would be a place for the IC in the process, but it wasn’t during this initial writing stretch.  So let the IC relax and not worry about it. 

Then you get down to business and don’t look back.  Don’t go back over what you’ve written, don’t judge a single thing that comes out while you are writing: just write.  There is no way you can write that volume of words in the time you have if the IC is on patrol, and doing things like rereading will bring her back with a vengeance.  Let her sit on her island in the sun with a mai tai, and you’ll let her know when you need her.

The advice seemed so simple and yet so life shattering at the same time.   I took it to heart.  In November 2004, I wrote my first novel during National Novel Writing Month.  In November 2005, I wrote my second novel.  Each time, I sent my IC off on a nice vacation (it gets cold here in Minnesota in the winter) and I just wrote like I had never written before.

What I discovered is that during that initial writing process I tended to lose the pure joy in writing because of the pressure of my IC to “be good”.   I was missing out on the discovery of characters and what they are made of, and the fascinating twists and turns they took me when I just allow them to roam free.   They surprised me.  And it was EASY.  By taking away all of the internal judgement for awhile, the ideas poured out of me.

So I wrote my 50,000 words, and took a deep breath.  Amazed and a bit terrified because now that I had this novel, what do you do next?

AHA

Bring back the IC (who was well-rested and tanned from her month long sabbatical).  It was just what I needed.  Her judgmental eye and unforgiving stance on what did and didn't work all along the way was a breath of fresh air.  She ripped my manuscript to shreds, but I could SEE the potential to make it better.  (A good edit goes a long way.)  She helped me take my novel to the next level, and I know that I couldn’t have done it without her.

So remember that there is a time and place for your inner critic.  She is there for a reason.  Using her effectively will make your work better.  Allowing her to have a say at inappropriate times will ensure you get stuck.  As long as you control her, you’ll find greater success in any aspect that you are looking to improve.

(photo credit by NotionsCapital)

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