Beware the Saboteurs

(Photo credit jonathanb1989)

You are writing your latest web copy or sales letter.  You're feeling in the zone.  You can't wait to hit "Publish" on that blog post.  You just KNOW that people are going to be duking it out to buy your widget or comment on that awesome post.  You set your brainchild loose and then....crickets.  What happened?

Take a hard look back at your words, and you may realize that you've been sabotaged.  Ninjas crept into your writing when you aren’t looking.  t the time you thought they were friends helping you out.  In fact, their presence made your language fuzzy, and weakened your entire message. 

You must be on your guard at all times and beware the ninjas.

As a writer, I know that first I have to understand the purpose of my writing, and then I need to convey my message to you in a way that you'll care enough to read it.  If I’m passionate about something, I want you to be passionate about it too.  I choose my words carefully and deliberately.  The words I use are just as critical as the message I want to convey.

Here are some of the most common ninjas I've found I need to be on the lookout for:

"I think":  I can assume that if I've taken the time to craft a piece for public consumption, I’ve accomplished the goal of “thinking” about it.  Saying things like “I think that you will like this blue-green algae mop and find it useful” is yawn-worthy. You aren't reading because you want to know what I think.  You want to know what I KNOW.

"You could":  These two words preface some kind of recommendation. People like options, so it makes me feel good to tell you all the things you “could” do.  But if someone is playing the part of the expert,they need to tell us what we should do.  If I have a wealth of knowledge that you do not have, based on all of my experience, I should be able to tell you why that shiny widget in your hand is going to be the best thing I’ve ever seen since the invention of the iPhone.

Probably, Just, and every other adverb out there: I heart adverbs.  I really do.  I confess that they are my biggest weakness (aside from excessive comma use).  That’s why I find them littered all over the place in every first draft I put together.  Adverbs modify verbs, and 99% of the time, the adverb adds no value.  In fact, it makes the sentence anemic.  Tweak the sentence by removing the adverb, and you’ll find that you are still saying the same thing, only better.   Thank goodness for editing, otherwise you'd probably, really, never ever come back to see something I wrote ever again.

I'm ruthless in combating my word saboteurs.  I have to be.  The next time you write a piece of copy that doesn't resonate with your audience, take a closer look.  My guess is you'll find ninjas at work.

What are your worst saboteurs?

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